I think I'm finally starting to tire of always being the one that people run to when they have problems. For as long as I can remember, I was the first line of defense for 99.9% of my friends when there was something wrong. I would always have some encouraging words and even if I didn't agree with whatever it is that you decided to do about a situation, I would stand by you and support you through it all.
I think I've finally reached a point where I'm having a hard time with following through with some of the encouragement that I've tried putting out there. There are just so many situations right now where I stand by and let things happen to people that I care about because they have some stupid reason for it. It drives me absolutely insane anymore
I think the problem is, I care too much. The people that come in to my life get everything from me. My whole heart goes in to a friendship 110% for the entirety of it. So when a person allows themselves to be put through things that are absolutely asinine, it tears me up inside. I want to see everyone happy. I want everyone to be free of all of the toils and bullshit in life, to be as carefree as possible. I don't care about my own happyness or my own physical wellbeing, I just want the people that I care about to not have to worry about things.
It kills me to see someone in a poor relationship or stuck doing things that they don't want to do. Life is too short to be miserable. Why let yourself be unhappy, when there is someone or something out there that can actually be a positive influence in their lives....
Le Sigh.
I just don't want to hurt because I am seeing other people hurt. There is so much pain and torment in my own life right now that seeing the people I care about put themselves through torture just for the sake of being in a worthless relationship or a bullshit job. The investment I put into people is starting to feel less and less worth it...
Fuck the useless boyfriend.
Screw the trash job.
Laugh at your rediculous parents.
Give up on the friends that treat you like garbage.
Find someone to treat you right.
Look for something that you enjoy doing.
Give your parents a reason to respect you.
Show your friends that you can walk away just as easy.
And in the words of my lovely Maria- Give love, it's free.
Listening to:
Devil In Jersey City [Live]
Coheed and Cambria
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